From Rekindling the Flame to Lighting it Anew, A Guide to Adding Romance to Your Life

In a world where divorce is almost as common as marriage, the biggest reason for breakups these days is simply a lack of romance or passion. With people leading ever busier lives, some of us simply don’t think we have the time or energy to be romantic, but this simply isn’t true. What follows is a guide to putting romance back into your life. This is true for relationships both new and old. Many of these tips are inexpensive and quick. It doesn’t have to break the bank or require a week off in order to have a more romantic personal life, and the following pages will show you just how you can do it in easy and fun steps.

Please be aware that the following tips apply to everyone, regardless of gender or sexuality. Find the tips that appeal to you and what you think your partner might enjoy. Romance isn’t just for women or for straight couples, men and gay/lesbian couples have just as much need for romance in a relationship. It is a human need to feel loved and special in any relationship, and every relationship needs romance in order to stay healthy and successful. Romance makes people feel special, makes a relationship unique. Romance also encourages feelings of lust and love to develop. Whether you are in a new relationship or have been with your partner for a long time, romance is the key to success and happiness. As relationships progress over time, it is easy to fall into routines. While this may seem to be good, it also means that soon you and your partner might begin to see one another like friends, roommates, or coworkers. You have to be more than someone who helps your partner keep a household running, you also want to be the person that makes his or her heart skip a beat and makes him or her feel special every single day.

There are some simple things you can do to quickly add romance back into your relationship. Sometimes an act as simple as buying flowers for no reason or writing a poem can be enough to sweep someone off their feet or remind them exactly why they fell for you in the first place. The same applies for taking your partner to dinner at a romantic restaurant or cooking your own special dinner. You can even take your partner out for a nice picnic at the beach or under the stars.

Another thing that is quite romantic is to take your partner back to the place where you met. If you met at a concert or other event, play a cd of that group or event to recreate the scene where you first met. This shows your partner that you remember how you met and how grateful you are for that chance encounter. Little things such as reliving special moments can add a real spark to any relationship.

Think back to the beginning of your relationship. Was there a certain song that you perhaps danced to or heard that makes you think of your partner? If the two of you have a song that you consider yours, play it at random occasions just to make your partner smile. If you do not have a song, then you can have a lot of fun choosing one. Pick a song that has lyrics or music that you associate with your partner and your relationship. The fun part is deciding how to make that song special. One suggestion is to simply play it somewhere out of the blue and ask your partner to dance. This could be as simple as in your own living room, or as unique as pulling the car over on an abandoned stretch of road and playing the song loudly while you dance with your partner then and there for no reason except to be romantic. If that isn’t your idea of a way to make your song special, then think of something different. Perhaps play the song during an important moment, such as proposal or asking your partner to move in with you. Another idea is to ask the house band at a restaurant or club to play the song and dedicate it to your partner. There is always a romantic way to add music to your relationship, and once you have chosen a song to represent your relationship, your partner will be reminded of these moments and their feelings for you every time they hear your song.

If intimacy is an issue, there are lots of things you can do to make your relationship better. One suggestion is to lengthen the amount of foreplay during lovemaking. Sensual massage also adds a sense of intimacy to a relationship while also releasing pleasurable hormones. Going for a walk or drive together, or even simply holding hands can add a sense of intimacy. Many people crave the touch and attention of another human being, and as relationships wear on, we might do these things less often without even realizing it.

Something else that is excellent for increasing romance is setting the mood of your bedroom or your home. Feng Shui is a common approach to increasing the romantic energy of a room. This eastern practice has worked for many couples by simply changing the flow of energy within the rooms of their home. For those looking to set the mood without moving all of the furniture, you can try lighting candles and incense, or leaving a trail of rose petals that lead either to the bedroom or to a dining room where you wait with a freshly prepared meal. Romantic lights and music have a calming effect on the brain and are proven to make people happier and more susceptible to feelings of love and attraction.

The best rule when it comes to adding romance to your relationship is this: be creative. Try something new. Perhaps you could set up a scavenger hunt, leaving small tokens of affection at different locations with your friends or others whom you have clued in on the surprise, until your partner finally follows the last clue only to find you waiting with dinner or a gift of jewelry or some other romantic gift. Another good idea is to hide small notes in different locations that your partner will find throughout the day. Some good locations are the bathroom mirror, taped to the milk, inside a purse or wallet, in a lunch box or bag, on the dash or rearview mirror of a car, most anywhere. Be sure that your partner will find these notes over the course of a day or longer, so that the surprises keep coming. If you want, you can even put a second message that will only become clear when all of the notes are found and arranged in a certain order. Be sure if you want to do this that you label the notes so that the puzzle will be slightly easier to figure out. There really is no limit to the things you can do to make your relationship happier and more productive.

In addition to surprises, you can also start a new hobby together. Make a list of foreign foods you want to try and order them or prepare them together. This can be both fun and creative. You can go new places, try new things. Try taking a class together. From ceramics to yoga to ballroom dancing, there is always something you can do together that will be somewhat offbeat while bringing you much closer together. Try not to settle into a daily routine. For more daring couples you can try such things as skydiving, deep sea diving, and bungee jumping. These sorts of death defying acts help make you stronger as individuals while also bringing you closer through the shared experience of having done them together. There are all sorts of activities you can participate in as a couple. Some, such as taking up a hobby and cooking together are simple and inexpensive, while activities such as skydiving or deep sea diving require money, and depending on where you live, may also require traveling to a new location.

Not all ways of being more romantic involve going anywhere or doing anything special. There are also little things you can do at home to add romance into your life. One good example is that after couples have been together for a long time, partners start to feel like they are not receiving as much attention as they used to or as much as they would like. There are lots of ways to be more attentive to your partner and his or her needs. The best way to do this is to listen. Ask your partner questions about his or her day or work, and then actively listen to his or her response. Sometimes the simple knowledge that you are coming home to somebody who truly cares and understands can be all it takes to make a bad day into a good one. If your partner stays home during the day, ask how the day went.

Sometimes one half of a couple stays home with children while another works. These scenarios often result in the stay at home parent feeling underappreciated. If your partner stays home to take care of children or other family members, be sure to let him or her know that you understand how difficult and stressful this can be. Offer to take over some of that responsibility when you get home. If you live in a household such as this, it is also very advisable to hire a sitter from time to time so that the two of you can leave the house and spend quiet romantic time together. Make sure that you always have some time together to simply share your feelings and converse in an adult environment with no children present.

One way to really show your partner some attention is to offer a massage. Find out where your partner’s most sensitive spots are, such as shoulders and back and slowly massage any knots or tension out of them. If possible, offer a full body massage. While certainly a sensual massage can turn into lovemaking, take care not to do this every time, or your partner will begin to see your offer of a massage as an ulterior motive when you just want to have sex. Make sure that sometimes the massage is its own reward. Sometimes simply having lots of hands on relaxing contact with your partner can work wonders for adding intimacy and romance.

Another thing some couples do to be romantic is to give one another pet names. Make sure that you are creative. Don’t call your partner the same nickname you have also used for a past lover. Be creative. It can be a version of your partner’s name, or something cute and romantic, so long as it is original. Giving your partner a pet name is a sign that you care and that you have sentimental feelings toward him or her that can’t be expressed by simply using the name he or she already has.

To really earn bonus points with your partner, let him or her hear you saying wonderful things about them to other people. Be sure to say how beautiful or handsome they are, how happy they make you, and how you couldn’t live without them. Always be honest, but make sure you find subtle ways like this to let the special person in your life know just how very special they are. Sometimes just knowing you say such things about them makes them feel much more secure and happy, and it can really boost self-esteem as well. Be sure that in addition to telling others these things that you also take the time to tell your partner how you truly think and feel about him or her too.

Find reasons to celebrate your relationship. If you remember the dates, celebrate the anniversary of the day you met, your first kiss, when you became engaged or married, and every other important event you can think of. Acts like this show how much attention you pay to your relationship while making you seem extremely romantic at the same time. These celebrations do not have to be extravagant (except wedding anniversaries and birthdays), and can be as simple as a romantic walk or a pleasant dinner.

There are plenty of ways to add spark back into your relationship, as this book shows. The idea behind all of these tips is generally the same. The best thing you can do for your partner and your relationship is to pay attention and give attention. Notice things, even small things, about your partner. Listen to him or her and make sure they know you are doing so. If they mention wanting to see a particular movie, even if they say it to someone else, surprise them with tickets. Pay attention to what they say and do, and shower them with attention as well. If you do these simple things, you are bound to add some spark back into any relationship.